This is different from my usual hope preaching, its life related and totally helpful for relationships. I didn’t pen this down my friend,dearest and editor did, I do hope it is helpful to as many that will read it.
Males are analytical creatures, always apt to analyse and rationalise situations before reaching any conclusions. Females are not so, they are more intuitive in nature. While a man will add 2+3+1+1 to get to 7, a female will arrive at 7 without going through that process. Now both methods are very good for making sense of situations but they have big gaping loopholes. For a man, simplify falsify the data in the premises and he’ll jump to very wrong conclusions. Easy as that. For a woman, gain her absolute trust and that brick wall of intuitive defence will melt away.
This brings to the topic at hand. Chances are that before you met your partner, they had friends and as time goes on, they will meet new people. Most of them will be cool, but not everyone will respect your position as number one in your partner’s life.
That green eyed monster called jealousy and that slimy snake called lust can turn normal people into irrational beings. Not everyone is going to be pleased that you two are happy or look good together. Some may want what you have, but rather than putting in work and getting theirs, they’ll come for yours. To them, there’s no such thing as finders keepers. They’ll use any weapon, sabotage most especially, to get you out and tuck themselves in nicely. Many a marriage and/or relationship has being ruined by these unwelcome intruders.
In a relationship, particularly when it’s about our partners, our defended are high and our sense of danger is particularly sharp (especially you ladies). So long as we are not overprotective or jealousy doesn’t cloud our sense of judgement, this is a very useful tool. But usually our partners do not really see the red lights flashing like we can. This could lead to serious friction which may only serve to give the intruder the upper hand.
Here are some tips on how to spot them:
1. Instant dislike: Has your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/husband ever introduced you to someone and you notice their faces contort into a frown (no matter how slight)? If yes, that’s a sign of things to come.
2. Dirt throwing: They’ll never miss an opportunity to paint you black in front of your partner’s eyes. If they see you with Loveth or Francis, be sure that your partner will get to know even before you get home. When your partner behind to know stuff before you tell them or ask sarcastic and rhetorical questions, know that they’re at work.
3. Competition: They always subtly initiate fierce competition for any and everything and in any and every way that they can. They will compete for time, affection, care e.t.c. Benji is ill today, tomorrow he had an accident, next tomorrow he is lonely and guess who he calls first? Your guess is as good as mine.
4. Ever present: Conveniently, for some reason or the other, they’re always just around the corner. If not then they’re always online, chatting non stop on every social media platform there is with your partner. So long as your partner is there, they’re there also.
5. The put down: Whenever they are around you, expect to get the eye, snide remarks, offensive jokes, wry smiles e.t.c. They are always out to instigate. In other words, they’ll give you just about enough rope to hang yourself.
6. Cry wolf: They are the first to cry out when you get one over them. “Your boyfriend is mean”, “didn’t you see what she just did?”, “What did I do to her?”, “I don’t think he likes me.” Expect these comments and more, everytime you thwart them. They’re sympathy seekers and suckers.
There are so many other ways (subtle and not-so-subtle) that they’ll attack and be rest assured that they won’t fight fair. The best defence is to work on your relationship and be vigilant. If you have more to add, please do. You might save a relationship today, maybe even yours. Cheers everyone.